Hands up who knew there was a Cockney Bible?
Yep. Mike Coles has translated some of the bible into Cockney – isn’t that great! Here is the Lord’s Prayer in Cockney:
Hello, Dad, up there in good ol’ Heaven,
Your name is well great and holy, and we respect you, Guv.
We hope we can all ‘ave a butcher’s at Heaven and be there as soon as possible: and we want to make you happy, Guv, and do what you want ‘ere on earth, just like what you do in Heaven.
Guv, please give us some Uncle Fred, and enough grub and stuff to keep us going today, and we hope you’ll forgive us when we cock things up, just like we’re supposed to forgive them who annoy us and do dodgy stuff to us.
There’s a lot of dodgy people around, Guv; please don’t let us get tempted to do bad things.
Help keep us away from all the nasty, evil stuff, and keep that dodgy Satan away from us, ‘cos you’re much stronger than ‘im.
Your the Boss, God, and will be for ever, innit?
Cheers, Amen.
And here’s the story where Jesus calms a storm:
One evening, Jesus said to his chinas, “Let’s go to the other side of this ‘ere lake.”
So they left all the people, and the disciples got into the nanny and set orf. There were quite a few other nannies there too.
And then, would you Adam and Eve it, a huge wind started to blow up, and the waves got so bloomin’ big that they began to spill into the nanny. It got to the stage where the nanny was almost gonna fill up with fisherman’s.
Despite all this, Jesus was at the back of the nanny ‘aving a feather, lying there with his loaf on a pillow. The disciples woke him up and said, “Teacher, we’re about to die. Don’t you care?”
Jesus got up from his little feather and shouted at the wind, “Oi, be quiet!” and he said to the waves, “Oi, be still!” The wind suddenly died dahn, and it became really calm. Jesus then said to his chinas, “What is it with you lot? Why were you all so frightened? Do you still not have faith?”
But the disciples were in a right ol’ two and eight.
Whatever next eh?
[...] After the news of the conservative Bible, I wasn’t sure if I would ever find a stranger bible translation. Apparently a man by the name of Nick Coles has made the most incomprehensible translation by rewriting sections of the bible in cockney rhyming slang. [...]
my kids love the cockney bible, first time ive ever managed to get them to actually want to read a bible, the only downside is now they keep asking where in london jerusalem is lol
Thats a well funny version of the bible i would read that
And you all call yourselves followers of our Lord Jesus Christ?? You should be ashamed of yourselves thinking that this ‘Bible’ is any good at all. Yet another counterfeit, money making publication, with absolutely NO love of God in it at all.
I feel I have to disagee with you tom. I think this is potentially a great way to get people interested in Christianity. In this modern age, the good old text of the bible is sadly not going to be very appealing to the younger generations. Here is a version that does carry the essential truths, that is also fun to read, and, at least for those who understand cockney rhyming slang, easy to relate to.
Typical Atheist. No respect for other belief’s, and thinks that all religions are out to con people, and also likes to swear a lot when he/she can’t come up with a proper argument.
I agree with you. Although I am not a Christian myself, a close friend of mine is a missionary and he frequently stresses the importance of making his translations accessible. If it is the purity of God’s word others are concerned about, I suggest they learn Hebrew and Greek.
Hi, I’m a Christian Aussie with British Ancestory that does not want Cockney to die out! This is a great cultural document, but I agree, it needs to be used with care.
This is great. You Christians are so uptight and worried about nothing. Why do you think that King James’ language ought to convey the language of your faith? Study a bit about politics and history and open your mind a bit.
I think it is an excellent version to reach those persons that maybe otherwise would not know the truth, the life and the joy of the Gospel of Christ.
We’ve got to remember that God speaks in every languages and, for Him, a standard english is not better than Cockney. Actually, Cockney is part of our culture, and I do think that God loves it!
Thanks!
Greeting from Chile!
this is a brilliant way to take a million year old text and turn it into a mordern day text.
Okay one, there is absoulty no need to swear. Not only is it inappropriate, but also it makes you look like the idiot.
Second, Jesus taught his follower’s to love and respect all peoples, including homosexuals. I personally believe that the most of the laws given in the old testerment were written for that time, and that we should now follow the laws Jesus gave us.
Finally, if you care to look, there are plenty of significant figures out there who were both Christian and intelligent (Sir Isaac Newton, Winston Churchill, Arthur Eddington, ect).
Hi Folks. It’s Mike here, the author of the Bible in Cockney. Great to read all your comments, shame some have to resort to foul language….The God I believe in is someone who wants to communicate to all of us…for some people, God has spoken to them through the Bible in Cockney..which is lovely to hear. Ive had lovely letters from folk in prison who have never ‘given a toss’ about religion, the Bible etc…but when they came accross the Cockney Bible, they thought it was a great laugh, but at the same time, the message of Love still got through to them…that’s all that matters to me. It’s not a replacement to the King James or Good News version, it’s only an alternative that will appeal to some folk. I don’t mind all the criticism..foul language is a shame…little ignorant really…but no matter, God loves you all………Cheers me ol’ chinas!!!